Growth Stage: Apple

15 weeks in, and just like a pea vine breaks through the crust of earth and transforms from an obscured seed into a visibly emergent and photosynthesizing plant, our baby too has busted a jeans button via a definite and growing bump! I should note that the bump is not all baby. In month four we’ve exchanged nausea with a voracious capability to consume entire cantaloupes and watermelon halves without squinting or pause. The farmer is hungry. The baby is certainly digging fresh fruit and still wants bacon – a vegetarian’s nightmare! Why can’t this baby want broccoli? Adam and I had another appointment at Swedish, where we recorded my first weight gain so far, and listened to one speedy and healthy heartbeat. What a comforting sound that heartbeat is! We got the thumbs up; everything is coming along swimmingly, perfect, normal, A-Ok. I love that Adam has been able to attend the last two appointments with me, not only is it supplementary nursing education, but it feels like our first outings as a family, especially now that we are starting to talk to her, I mean him, I mean…(?) Bets anyone?

What’s New with the Crop:

Besides sprouting, Baby Kestler is growing thin and fairly opaque skin. She is starting to grow lanugo- the downy fir that will completely cover her in a couple of weeks. Bone marrow is developing as well as, muscles, and eyebrows. Our little fetus can frown, grimace, make voluntary movements, and perhaps even suck a thumb. Baby Kestler is about the size of a Fuji Apple.

Recent Baby Highlights:

I spent the weekend in the San Juan Islands, with my sister, niece, dad and Susi, for some much needed family and relaxin’ time. I mentioned that the name Geronimo has grown on me (Adams' hopeful for a boy), which was met with laughter from all except my niece who seemed to love the name and repeated it over and over again with the enthusiasm of doing cannon balls into the deep end of a pool. GERONIMO!!!!!!!!!!! I have to admit, this made me like the name even more. Please, someone talk me out of it. I must add that I came home to one shiny, clean apartment – My husband rocks!

Today, the first hands of non-husband descent made there way to my belly. I can liken the experience to what certain craniologists must have performed during the 19^th century – some sort of eugenic skull analysis, except this was sweeter, has no concern with the cranium, and thankfully wasn’t seeking attributions with the size of my belly to intelligence, race, etc…thankfully. They were just the curious hands of a friend, but the act certainly surprised me.

Let's review: How to grow fingernails and toes

At twelve weeks Baby Kestler is growing fingernails, developing hormones, a more sophisticated digestive and nervous system. Major events have occurred over the past few months in order to get to this stage in fetal development. Visually, we've gone from growing what could be one of several types of creatures: pig, chimp, dog, chicken or whale, to a fetus that looks distinctly human. Above is a representation of an embryo and a pregnant lady at 7 weeks and below is a photograph of a twelve week old fetus straight from the Abyss.

For the farmer, the first twelve weeks are purely survival. It can be like growing grapes in the Sahara or lemon trees in an alpine rain forest. The most nourishing food may be nowhere around. Or perhaps it is right there in the bottom of the fridge but you can't tolerate, fathom or stomach broccoli or spinach, a carrot or an orange. In that case, you ingest what you can. For me, ice cream and popsicles, thai food and nachos were like the small ravine tapped by a thirsty root. Thankfully, babies are more resilient than most plants. They can simply take the nourishment they need, and leave the fat and sugar for the farmer's winter plump. A fetus has first dibs on the calcium of her mother's bones and the iron in her blood. So for these past weeks I've been consuming what I can, not losing too much weight, knowing that my sweet little parasite is feasting just fine. Now however, it's time for major growth. The kind of growth that would require a seedling to turn into a forest giant over night. And that requires real food. Quinoa, lentils and beans are like compost to the soul and fetus, and while I've been salivating over the smokey scent of bacon and crispy prosciutto my vegetarian/pescetarian diet seems to provide the proper nutrients. I will just have to keep reminding myself of that.

Just a sprout!

In early February, I waited outside our second bathroom where Adam was comfortably tucked away under a fan and reading the New Yorker. I knocked on the door hoping to give speed to the process. When he finally emerged I dragged him to my bathroom where an EPT with the faintest blue plus sign sat waiting. We questioned how such a wimpy sign could be taken as truth, but acted counter intuitively, at first, ignoring our reservations and celebrated. However, it was extremely pale, and despite the directions, which explained that a saturation issue should simply be ignored, we felt like clumsy fortunetellers in need of a second opinion. Or at least Adam did. Over the past few months pregnancy tests were my cocaine. If Adam wasn’t around I was peeing on an HCG strip - the procreative eight ball. By New Years, after growing tired of bright blue negative signs in e.p.t. windows, I put a baby in the mind’s attic and focused on baking and yoga instead. But if I knew anything about pregnancy tests, I knew what a negative one looked like. I also knew that I was pregnant; I can’t begin to tell you why or how I knew that, but I did. So when the second test proved similar, like a replica of an ill preserved watercolor, the antithesis of a bright, clear and dependable dash, Adam asked that I make an appointment for a formal test to make sure. I obliged after telling him to get used to the idea anyway. He knew I was telling him the truth; he simply didn’t want to rally a hope that could be painfully and quickly dismantled. The doctor said it had been so long since my last menstruation that the thought of testing was laughable and we’ve been living in euphoria ever since! We are now at week 12, the end of month three, and thus in near sight of the passing of one queasy, emotional and exhausting first trimester. We’ve already made the move to a bigger crib and started a list of quasi-serious (mostly leaning toward the former) baby names which include: Geronimo, Penny, Transbot, Lena and Augustus.

My first ultrasound occurred during Wk 6 close to Wk 7, when our little embryo looked more like a plankton with a perfectly beating heart. Our second ultrasound, at WK 11, was nothing short of magical. We are starting this blog (upon request even!) as a way to share our pregnancy with those precious friends and family who are scattered across the country and those of you who are perhaps near in distance and in the heart, but because of the general pace of life it has become hard to keep in touch. The transition from a marriage into a family will be the craziest adventure Adam and I will ever attempt. Here it goes!