19 days or
456 hours or
27360 minutes
away. And I'm huge.
'Things,' are starting to happen: crampiness, effacement (50-75%), and the baby has dropped to a bladder squashing lowness...all good things that say I should have this baby out before my doctor would have to induce (which is done at 42 wks, I'm almost 38), yay! These are also normal signs that labor could stll be weeks away. I wouldn't mind, however, if baby came, let's say, today perhaps, or very soon. Did you hear that Freja Finneas Geronimo Kestler, my love! Discomforts swooped in once Baby dropped and pregnancy has been different ever since. My smug and happy self has turned into a waddle prone grunter. On the bright side, look at these cute baby shoes. I have organized, re-organzied, folded, pre-washed and arranged Baby's belongings so many times in these drawers. Now, of course it seems silly to have one drawer for two pairs of shoes that measure less than 4 cubic inches, but at the time it made perfect sense.
I have also rearranged the garage and set up a crafty work space there, with cuckoo clocks hanging from the nail boards, dried status and mums on a side table, my sewing desk on a bamboo mat, a globe and a few favorite books around. I've covered all the storage items with wall hangings and sheets from India and tucked fabrics, handmade papers, needles, thread, glues, odd buttons, anything with possibility away for future creative inspiration. I doubt I will make it down there too often, baby coming and all, but it is nice to have a space of my own, and just having it there may temper the 'only child' in me. Also, I think this means I've been nesting - another sign labor is coming! Yippy!
Also, a huge thank you to ALL the many people who have made everything come together for us. Just weeks ago we felt so unprepared and now, after three baby showers, some hand-me-downs, the experienced advice we've received, and all the love and support - we feel as ready as we can be! I've resigned that readiness is actually realizing that we will never be ready- but like I said, Baby Kestler has all the essentials and so much more. Thank you! We could have never afforded or realized all that we would need! You have done so much!
Many months ago, I set a date for my maternity leave - Sept. 30th. At the beginning of September I nearly crawled back to my bosses to ask them for an extension. I was feeling great. I asked myself, what else could I possibly do with my time? Now, there are some people who are great at filling in their schedules with interesting things to do, but not me. I like to have things I am obligated to do - work, school, meetings - events that are scheduled for me. I have no idea why I am like this, and I wish I wasn't. Since I was 17 I haven't not worked unless traveling. Besides a few short vacations, India was my last experience where I could wake up every morning to free-form days that unraveled with spontaneity. I remember then, also feeling challenged at trying to pick what to do, see, and taste first and being thankful that I had Adam to wander freely with - there is comfort in wandering when you are not drifting alone. So I'm trying to harness that uninhibited mentality once more, to make the best of this leave that I will never have again- this time which seems beyond an 'in between stage' but more like the early movements of a polar shift. This time, between work and parenthood, is much different though. When I was traveling the adventure was everyday and it was the everyday process of traveling that produced constant anticipation for the next moment to fruit in the midst of chaos. Right now all of my anticipation is focused on meeting our baby. I cannot wait any longer. Impatience, more than discomfort is fueling the strongest desire to meet this sweet being who has been living inside me for so long now. So maternity leave seems more like a waiting room than an adventure - this I must change or else it will seem like purgatory until the baby is born. On that note, my doors are wide open as is my schedule - let's make the most of it friends!
No comments:
Post a Comment