Pumpkin Harvest Approaches

Alright, so my EDD (estimated due date) is exactly

19 days or

456 hours or

27360 minutes

away. And I'm huge.

'Things,' are starting to happen: crampiness, effacement (50-75%), and the baby has dropped to a bladder squashing lowness...all good things that say I should have this baby out before my doctor would have to induce (which is done at 42 wks, I'm almost 38), yay! These are also normal signs that labor could stll be weeks away. I wouldn't mind, however, if baby came, let's say, today perhaps, or very soon. Did you hear that Freja Finneas Geronimo Kestler, my love! Discomforts swooped in once Baby dropped and pregnancy has been different ever since. My smug and happy self has turned into a waddle prone grunter. On the bright side, look at these cute baby shoes. I have organized, re-organzied, folded, pre-washed and arranged Baby's belongings so many times in these drawers. Now, of course it seems silly to have one drawer for two pairs of shoes that measure less than 4 cubic inches, but at the time it made perfect sense.

I have also rearranged the garage and set up a crafty work space there, with cuckoo clocks hanging from the nail boards, dried status and mums on a side table, my sewing desk on a bamboo mat, a globe and a few favorite books around. I've covered all the storage items with wall hangings and sheets from India and tucked fabrics, handmade papers, needles, thread, glues, odd buttons, anything with possibility away for future creative inspiration. I doubt I will make it down there too often, baby coming and all, but it is nice to have a space of my own, and just having it there may temper the 'only child' in me. Also, I think this means I've been nesting - another sign labor is coming! Yippy!

Also, a huge thank you to ALL the many people who have made everything come together for us. Just weeks ago we felt so unprepared and now, after three baby showers, some hand-me-downs, the experienced advice we've received, and all the love and support - we feel as ready as we can be! I've resigned that readiness is actually realizing that we will never be ready- but like I said, Baby Kestler has all the essentials and so much more. Thank you! We could have never afforded or realized all that we would need! You have done so much!

Many months ago, I set a date for my maternity leave - Sept. 30th. At the beginning of September I nearly crawled back to my bosses to ask them for an extension. I was feeling great. I asked myself, what else could I possibly do with my time? Now, there are some people who are great at filling in their schedules with interesting things to do, but not me. I like to have things I am obligated to do - work, school, meetings - events that are scheduled for me. I have no idea why I am like this, and I wish I wasn't. Since I was 17 I haven't not worked unless traveling. Besides a few short vacations, India was my last experience where I could wake up every morning to free-form days that unraveled with spontaneity. I remember then, also feeling challenged at trying to pick what to do, see, and taste first and being thankful that I had Adam to wander freely with - there is comfort in wandering when you are not drifting alone. So I'm trying to harness that uninhibited mentality once more, to make the best of this leave that I will never have again- this time which seems beyond an 'in between stage' but more like the early movements of a polar shift. This time, between work and parenthood, is much different though. When I was traveling the adventure was everyday and it was the everyday process of traveling that produced constant anticipation for the next moment to fruit in the midst of chaos. Right now all of my anticipation is focused on meeting our baby. I cannot wait any longer. Impatience, more than discomfort is fueling the strongest desire to meet this sweet being who has been living inside me for so long now. So maternity leave seems more like a waiting room than an adventure - this I must change or else it will seem like purgatory until the baby is born. On that note, my doors are wide open as is my schedule - let's make the most of it friends!

The Sleepless Season

The first trimester of a pregnancy is surreal. The second is certainly the best few months of life in general, and the third, well the third is the season of the back lying turtle(me trying to get out of bed at night...), the season of sleep deprivation, excitement and odd hormonal cheekiness. I have exchanged proper communication with slanted glances, exuberant energy with the inability to catch up on sleep, and a normal belly with one, as Adam points out, the size of a fall pumpkin. We are in week 34 now, surpassing a 33 wk milestone - when babies can be born with relatively few problems despite some inevitable NICU care. Despite what I will say in this post, the third trimester has been sweet to me. We are taking birthing classes, nesting and I am the beneficiary of many back rubs (thanks my love!) My perception of third trimester inconveniences are that they are simply necessary considering they are priming me for the lack of sleep to come (here's to self convincing!) I am trying to relish this biological training regimen, which has now included the environmental factor of the felis catus, old man Stoney. Our 17 year old cat has been overwhelmed with a series of health issues that are causing him to feel sick throughout the day, and mostly at night. Poor guy! So this is how my evening goes: At 10:30 or eleven I go to bed. At one in the morning I wake up with an achey back and slowly, rotisserie to my opposite side. At two, I use the bathroom, sometimes startling Adam who claims to see my appendages flailing about in the air like a evening spook as I try to maneuver out of bed. At three, Adam and I awake to Stoney vomiting between us on our bed. We clean the sheets, lay down towels, give him a couple soothing puffs of an inhaler fitted with a nose/mouth attachment for cats and go to sleep. 3:30 - I rotate. 4:00 - squirm from shell to feet, use bathroom. 5:30 again. 6:00 alarm. Ah drats! Also, braxton-hicks contractions often wake pregnant ladies in their third trimester as does hip and pelvic discomfort, leg cramps, thirst, heartburn, baby kicks to the ribs... None of these dicsomforts are horrible or intolerable, and all are completely worth the end result! It's just a little hard to fully function at work the next day....The best part about evening interruptions, with exception of a cat, is that this is truly how a woman's body prepares her for the irregular clockwork of motherhood. Babies in their first months spend most of their sleep in REM mode, sleeping deeply often parallels further developments occuring around 6 months or so. This is exactly how a pregnant woman sleeps - light, in REM and waking every few hours. The vivid dreams that are often associated with being pregnant stem from this kind of sleeping pattern. Waking often means you forget less.

As our pregnancy progresses I have been asked many questions regarding maternity leave and when our due date is. I will be working through September and perhaps the first week of October. Which will put me at the beginning of week 38. Some people seem to think this is normal and others feel I am cutting it a little close, mostly because my job is physically demanding compared to what many other people do. I really don't mind working right now, I'm getting exercise, which is fantastic and my colleagues and staff are wonderful about compensating for my growing inabilities. I might, however, be crowding them behind the counter with my pumpkin belly, yet they're sweet about that too, pretending they bumped into me, or that they're the clumsy ones. But really- I think it is quite obvious who the culprit is - Geronimo!

A generation ago doctors used to date pregnancy from the moment of fertilization which meant a 38 week term. Today doctors calculate week one based upon when the egg leaves the ovary resulting in a 40 week term. It takes on average, about two weeks (14-16 days) for an egg to be released and result in a menstrual cycle OR as in my case a missed period - this is where the difference comes from. 40 weeks gestational is about 38 weeks fertilization. With either of these methods there is no real way to determine exactly when a baby will be born. Even with ultrasounds, a doctor or sonographer cannot accurately determine an exact due date because of varying growth rates from baby to baby and varying menstrual cycles from woman to woman. Only 5% of babies are born on their EDD (estimated due date). Most first time moms deliver an average of 8 days after their EDD and it is normal to give birth between Wk 38 (even though 37 is considered full term) and Wk 42. After 42Wks most providers will induce labor with a synthetic form of Oxytocin called Pitocin. I believe our due date, Oct 20, is a slightly late estimation. If this is our real due date, we would have tested positive just a couple of days after conception - impossible! This would be similar to expecting a pea to sprout three days after you sew a seed. The HCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) hormone that home pregnancy tests are engineered to detect takes 6-12 days to reach a registrable level. I would have needed to be a least a few more days into the pregnancy for a test to pick up on these hormones. Adam and I predict the birthday to occur around the 12th-15th. If anyone wants to take a guess at when Geronimo's debut will be, there is a lucrative opportunity at my work, where you can bet money on a date, $5 a square (day) - winner takes all!

Below are some photos from the nursery which is fairly complete! Thanks to Mom for the crib, and Craigslist for the changing table, dresser and gliding chair! We decided not to paint the walls because we don't know how long we will be living in our apartment. Who knows, we could win the mega millions, buy a house and take up golf and a nasty cigar habit. We are planning to decorate the walls with extravagant amounts of color- any ideas on kid friendly decor - pass them my way! So far I've made an owl picture from handmade paper (also pictured below) and am working on some origami butterflies to hang on the walls or to fashion into a mobile...

And here is a least flattering picture of myself showing off the belly in my gym clothes. Yes - there's five pound baby in there! No, I'm not having twins! If one more person asks if I've made sure with my doctor that I'm not carrying double, or says I've gotten huge, or that I'm carrying the weight in my face (this is what people say to me.... really) I'm going to...well...not much, I'm really most likely to cry and wine and such than stick it to you. Short torsos = big belly folks, and apparently I'm due for some serious growth in the next few weeks. And yes - i'm starting to waddle, and I grunt when I have to bend over.

We are getting very excited as this baby nears external fruition - I appreciate all the unknowns, I like knowing that everything is about to change, but how it will feel and manifest remains such a mystery!